Friday, May 15, 2009

Ponderings.....

My little sister sent me this list of ponderings, I thought it was worth re-printing:

  • I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
  • There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
  • Life is sexually transmitted.
  • Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  • The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
  • Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
  • Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
  • Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
  • All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
  • In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird . Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
  • How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
  • Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?
  • If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
  • Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look there anyway?
  • If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
  • If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
  • Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
  • Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
  • Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?


1 comment:

GW Scurlock said...

Nice list George, Hugh sent it to me a while back. Gary